What exactly is it with these product names lately?

Some time ago, Microsoft came out with “Windows ME”, which to me sounded a bit patronizing (then again, I honestly never did care much for the whole “My Computer”, “My Briefcase”, My This and My That naming convention).

Not to be outdone, Apple came out with some poorly named products of its own. The iPod Mini (and Mac Mini), for example. Surely I’m not the only whose first thought upon hearing these product names is of Mini Me from Austin Powers.

Of course, then came the Mighty Mouse - a two-button no-button (yeah, you heard that right) mouse with a miniature scroll-ball built into it. My new Mac came with one, and while I’m quite happy with the mouse itself the name is terrible. Mighty Mouse? They should have shipped it with a tiny blue cape and made it squeak when you click on it. Yes, I realize that Apple’s marketing trends toward vaguely effeminate metrosexual types (Err - why are you looking at me like that?), but they could have done a little better.

Finally, the MacBook Pro. The product itself, again, is something I would love to have. Given that this is Apple’s high-end laptop, they (thankfully) opted to go for a more adult sounding moniker. However, that doesn’t make it sound any better. MacBook Pro. Three sharp syllables that go together like eggs and chocolate syrup.

I thought it couldn’t get any worse than these, but… It did. By a significant margin.

This time, from Nintendo. Their eagerly awaited new gaming console, code-named “Revolution”, finally has a real name. While I know that the word Revolution (and its close cousin “Evolution”) have been pretty played out in recent years, it couldn’t possibly be any worse than the final name of the console.

Yes, I will say it again, so that it can soak in a bit.

Nintendo is going to call their console “Wii”. More details on their site. Imagine the marketing possibilities!

Wii: Where every player is player ‘number 1′

Down the road, when they refresh their portable line-up:

GameBoy’s sucessor: Piddle

Their online multiplayer gaming initiative:

Play with your friend across town: Wii Wii

Somebody stop me. Please.

Granted, Nintendo long ago diverged from the territory held by Sony and Microsoft. They’ve expressed (and I believe them) that they aren’t really interested in the “hardcore” gaming market, and are more interested in catering to normal people - especially kids - who want fun, engaging, innovative gaming experiences. Hell, while I will be in line with everyone else when the PS3 comes out, I know that Nintendo has been a pretty consistent source of creative game design in an otherwise increasingly conservative industry. The Revolution (err, Wii) controller is testament to that.

The thing is, though, just because someone was smoking something when they came up with the controller doesn’t mean that said crackpipe should be extended to Nintendo’s marketing team as well. Nintendo can and should be carefree and creative and whimsical, but if you can’t make people even say the name of your product without chuckling or turning red you have a problem.

If this were Apple I’d probably add the caveat that my concerns will likely be for naught. Apple has sold bazillions of stupidly named products, and - in the MP3 player market at least - they are dominant. Nintendo doesn’t have quite as much room for mistakes, though, as they are no longer on top of the console gaming pile.